[Coco] Get to know your neighbors, folks

[Roger Taylor]

Your fellow webmaster and CoCo friend almost bit the dust today.  Not 
like the high speed rollover I had a few years back or the time I 
slammed into the back of a highly flammable gas canister truck, but 
something different.

A family backyard picnic today turned into chaos today.  The kids 
woofed down their hot dogs and jumped back in the pool and started 
feuding again as usual.  I finally got to sit down with a huge steak 
and some sliced sausage.

On about my second big bite of steak I didn't chew it nearly long 
enough.  I bet you can figure the rest out.  When it got hung and 
wouldn't cough up, I decided to try to swallow it harder, then it 
*really* got stuck.  No air flow at all, guys.  I jumped up and tried 
to cough it out for 30 seconds with no luck.  A quick gulp of soda 
only made it worse.  My little kids started panicking and crying. I 
made it obvious I was choking.  My girl yelled that she didn't know 
what to do.  I knew I had to find another adult and quick.  Out of 
about 6 lazy and odd neighbors I chose the house where a (not fully 
citizen-status) Mexican family lives and ran up on their porch and 
yanked the door open.  The mother was sitting on the couch and I went 
through all the motions and whatnot that you'd expect a dying fella 
to do to get help.  She didn't understand.  I could barely get a gasp 
to say "I'm choking" but it didn't come out right.  She just looked 
at me. The kids were crying.  She followed me out on the porch.

I was getting weak and my face probably went through 10 shades of 
purple before I grabbed the woman's arms and put them around me and 
showed her what to do.  She didn't do anything.  She didn't know what 
I was talking about.  Still, no air.  I was in trouble, but at the 
second, I realized I was *really* in trouble if she didn't understand 
what was going on.  Finally she attempted the motions but she wasn't 
doing it hard enough.  So I *barely* got enough gasp to say, Harder!, 
but again, it didn't come out in Spanish, nor nearly loud enough to 
be vocal.  The kids were hysterical.  I told my little boy it was 
going to be ok, which took my last bit of breath-effort and was 
almost inaudible.  Finally the lady started to improve... but it 
wasn't working! I tried with all my might to puke the damn chunk of 
steak up but it wasn't budging.  I could feel my passageway under 
serious pressure.

Then at last, a miracle thrust to my gut from the woman resulted 
in.... (giggle now, because I'm alive) a huge chunk of steak about 1 
inch in diameter hurling through the air, across her porch... it 
rolled to a stop.  Actually, I saw it in slow motion so it took 
forever to come to a complete stop.   Slobber was all over the place 
and the kids were still crying, but a life was saved.  During her 
last thrusts I was also trying like hell to barf, so with all things 
combined, the obstacle was pursuaded to move.  I'm still in a little 
shock I guess.  In 41 years, nothing like that until now.  Get to 
know your neighbors, folks.  Learn some Spanish?  I refused the idea 
until now but tonight I'll *probably* Google up "I'm choking" and 
keep that on standby.

Lessons learned: chew your food well, know thy neighbors, stay in 
shape so you can run fast.

That is all.

-- 
Roger Taylor

http://www.wordofthedayonline.com