[Coco] off-topic, space program

[jimcox at miba51.com]

This was sent to me by some one on a Sci-Fi list, I 
thought some of you people might find this amusing...


This was posted to the Starfleet List. Thought others 
might get a chuckle.

        MARTIAN AIR FORCE DENIES STORIES OF UFO CRASH

     Gusev Crater (MPI) - A spokesthing for Mars Air Force
     denounced as false rumors that an alien space craft
     crashed in the desert, outside of Ares Vallis on
     Saturday. Appearing at a press conference today,
     General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that "the object
     was, in fact, a harmless high-altitude weather
     balloon, not an alien spacecraft".

     The story broke late Saturday night when a major
     stationed at nearby Ares Vallis Air Force Base
     contacted the Gusev Crater Daily Record with a story
     about a strange, balloon-shaped object which 
allegedly
     came down in the nearby desert, "bouncing" several
     times before coming to a stop, and "deflating in a
     sudden explosion of alien gases."

     Minutes later, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser contacted
     the Daily Record telepathically to contradict the
     earlier report. General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated 
that
     hysterical stories of a detachable vehicle roaming
     across the Martian desert were blatant fiction,
     provoked by incidences involving swamp gas. But the
     general public has been slow to accept the Air 
Force's
     explanation of recent events, preferring to speculate
     on the "other-worldly" nature of the crash debris.
     Conspiracy theorists have condemned Rgrmrmy's
     statements as evidence of "an obvious government
     cover-up," pointing out that Mars has no swamps. They
     point to the release of secret government memos
     detailing attempts to discredit reports of the
     landings by alien space craft. The memos discuss
     strategies to avoid troubles similar to those caused
     by the War of the Worlds radio program of years ago. 
     The program, which featured a sensational story of 
     gigantic oxygen breathing two-eyed invaders from 
Earth,
     sparked planet wide panic.

     Local residents like Driv Rhodo, who lives in the 
area
     of the alleged landings, are even more sceptical. "I
     seen it with my own 5 eyes" claimed Rhodo last week.
     "I've lived here over 300 years, most of my adult
     life-form. Them things used to be few and far between
     but lately they come in every few years or so. The
     government wants to bury the truth but I can tell you
     what's real. The Earthlings are going to invade and
     the government is spending our hard earned tax 
dollars
     on press releases and denials instead of preparing 
for
     the battle to come."

     A spokesthing denied any government involvement in 
the
     disappearance of Rhodo, who has not been seen since
     shortly after the interview, claiming "Any sentient
     being knows that a planet with the concentrations of
     water and oxygen found on Earth is a deadly and 
inhospitable
     environment for the formation of life, much less
     intelligent life. The fear and consternation caused
     by the unfounded and wild speculations of citizens
     like Rhodo are a traitorous disservice to the 
citizens
     of Mars."